Me: *is depressed, anxious and self harms*
Me: *hangs out with friends and has a good time*
Me: Well :) I can’t possibly :) be depressed :) or anxious :) or have problems :) cause I had so much fun :) :) I probably was faking it :) :)
Me, two hours later: *choking back sobs, slicing my arms*
stop allowing me to ignore my life.
stop saying yes when i ask if i should skip lectures and lie in bed instead. stop saying it’s okay that i don’t do my homework or take care of myself. stop agreeing to me getting high all the time and not eating anything.
it’s not okay, i’m not okay
it’s either feeling too much or not feeling anything at all
it’s either eating too much or not eating anything at all
it’s either giving too much or not giving anything at all
it’s either self harming too much or crying too much
it’s either hating myself too much or being so cocky about myself too much
it’s either dying too much or not living at all
anyone else want to recover but also want to find comfort in your pain? anyone else want to recover but they aren’t sick enough?
Fuck this Feeling
Wanting to cut. Wanting to die. Maybe if I die I can start over and stop fucking up.